What Might Have Been
by orchids117
Summary: Two short epilogues that were cut from "One May Face a World of Demons" due to plot changes.
1. She Lives

**Hey everyone. I decided I wanted to give the readers of "One May Face a World of Demons" this last gift for sticking with me through such a long and sad story. These are the epilogues that didn't make it to the final edition of "One May…".**

 **In the early days of writing this story, I was still deciding whether or not I wanted Clara to live or die in the end. This first epilogue was written when her living through her encounter with the Silence was still a possibility.**

 **Disclaimer: All rights to Doctor Who belong to the BBC**

* * *

 **She Lives.**

They knew him by name in this shop. Or, really, by nickname.

He'd relocated to this small town on the coast a few years back. Witness protection had moved him a total of three times during his first few years in their care, but he hadn't heard from them—other than the annual phone calls from his handler—in a little over two years.

He was settled. He was safe.

He knew the people of this town had whispered about him when he first arrived. He had heard them as he passed them on the street.

"Who is he?" one would ask.

"The Doctor," another would answer.

This would always lead to a follow up question. "But what's his name?"

"Just, the Doctor," the other would reply.

"That's all?" At this point the first would sound disbelieving or even condescending.

"That's all he ever says," the other would whisper.

Matt smiled down at her picture. It was his favorite. Her face was glowing with surprise and delight as she proudly displayed their honeymoon tickets to New York.

He swallowed down a lump in his throat.

"Here you go, Doctor." The waitress handed him a chocolate soufflé with a single candle. They made it special for him once every year.

He smiled politely up at her. "Thanks Sally."

Matt waited until she was gone to close his eyes. As his tradition demanded, he allowed himself only one memory to dwell on per year. Otherwise he knew he would wallow, and he couldn't afford the luxury anymore.

Matt felt a warm spark in his chest. She was laughing—her head thrown back and her eyes crinkled just around the corners. At what, he couldn't quite remember, but just the memory of her happiness was enough to satisfy him.

"Someone stand you up?" a voice asked.

He opened his eyes to look up at the intruder. It was a tall woman, with dark hair that was curled up onto her head and striking brown eyes.

"Who is she?" the woman prompted when he didn't answer.

He swallowed. "Clara, my…" he trailed off. "My associate." He had to be careful with the information he gave out now. Matt knew his handler would be none too pleased with him if he revealed who Clara was to anyone. His accidental slip of information had been the cause for more than one of his moves. The agency would not be pleased if they had to relocate him once again.

"Must be a very close associate," the woman said as she sat across from him, "for you to still be mourning her."

Matt blinked. "I'm sorry?"

"Tasha." The woman completely ignored his question and stuck her hand out to him. "Tasha Lem. And you are?"

Matt took her hand cautiously. "The Doctor."

Tasha raised her eyebrows. "Doctor who?"

He chuckled, and felt an all-too-familiar, bitter smile cross his face. "Ah, now that's the real question innit?" He leaned over to blow his candle out, and stood. "Nice to meet you."

Tasha grabbed his arm before he could leave. "Mind if I see you again?"

Matt glanced down at her, and shrugged. "I'll be around."

"Wait," Tasha called as he turned away from her. "I'm a friend of River Song's."

Matt's heart stopped and he froze. That was not a name he had ever wanted to hear again.

He slowly spun to face her again. Anxiety tugged at his heart, and every fiber of his being was telling him to turn around and run, but something in her voice made him stand his ground.

Relief flooded Tasha's face when he didn't walk away from her. "She sends a message."

He reluctantly moved back over to the table. "Yes?"

"She said to tell you that Silence will fall." She reached into her pocket, and pulled out a slip of paper. "And to give you this."

Matt took the paper, and carefully opened it. His heart froze when his eyes caught sight of a handwriting he knew all too well.

 _Run._

 _Run, you clever boy, and remember me._

— _Clara_


	2. The Dream

**An Epilogue where the dream sequence in which Matt says goodbye to Clara is extended. I wrote this before I decided Amy would come back to visit when Jack gets sent into witness protection.**

* * *

 **The Dream.**

She giggled when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back into his chest. "Matt, I'm busy."

"Me too," he whispered, and kissed her temple.

Clara laughed, and pushed herself away from him to turn around. "C'mon, you know I have to get this done. I don't think Leila would ever forgive me if I let her go onstage with only one of her fairy wings perfectly sparkled."

He felt a fond smile cross his face. "I'm sure we could find some way to make it up to her."

She glanced over her shoulder to raise an eyebrow at him. "She's got too much of your temper in her; and my skill for grudges."

Matt scoffed. "You? Hold a grudge? Have you met you?"

"Flatterer," she said with a roll of her eyes.

Matt sighed, and turned around to scoop up the stereo remote and turn it on. He smiled when "Ukulele Heroes" started to play, and walked back over to Clara to take her hand.

"Matt," she complained.

He stopped her with a kiss. "Dance with me?"

She swallowed as his eyes met hers, and he saw the exact moment her resolve melted. "Okay."

Clara wrapped her arms around Matt's neck as he curled his arms around her waist. The song wasn't exactly meant for slow dancing, but they only bothered to shuffle in a slow circle anyway.

Clara leaned her head against Matt's chest, and he closed his eyes.

"Matt?"

"Hm?" he answered without bothering to open his eyes.

"I miss you," she whispered.

Their feet stopped mid-step, and Matt's eyes opened. "What?"

"I miss you," she repeated.

It was then that he remembered. The memories came flooding back to him before he could stop them, and suddenly he realized something that made his heart grow cold.

This was a dream.

Matt pulled her in tighter against him. "I miss you too; every day."

Clara let out a slow breath. "I know."

"Why did you leave me, Clara?" he murmured. "Why didn't you just wait for me to get to you? Why didn't you let me save you?"

"No, Matthew, shh." She backed away to pull his face into her hands. "There wasn't anything you could have done. I was too far gone—there was no saving me."

"But I should have seen it. I should have seen what she—"

"John." Clara's tone left no room for argument. "You cannot blame yourself for her choices. Or mine. I want you to be happy. I want you to forgive yourself. If not for yourself, then for me."

Matt swallowed hard and looked down at his feet. "I don't know if I can."

Her small fingers pulled his chin up until they were eye-to-eye. "Matt, let me remind you of something Rose once said to me. She said, "One may face a world of demons for the sake of an angel." You were my angel—now I'm asking you for the privilege of allowing me to be yours."

He searched her face for a moment before slowly leaning in to brush her lips with his.

" _Goodbye, Matt."_

Matt's eyes opened slowly as a sharp breath forced its way into his lungs. He coughed, and forced himself to sit up on the edge of the bed.

He sighed heavily, and let his head fall into his hands.

Matt sucked in a deep breath, and pushed himself up to his feet. He stumbled down the dark hallway to his kitchen and pulled out a mug.

He stared down at the mug for a moment, before shoving it back into the cupboard. What he wanted was something a little stronger than tea.

Matt pulled out the bottle of scotch he had managed to bring with him after Witness Protection moved him out of his flat to this new place in the middle of nowhere. At first he had welcomed the solitude, but after three years of living alone he had begun to view his home as a prison.

He needed to get out of here. He could feel the walls closing in on him, and it was making it hard to breath. He needed to be free, if only for a few hours.

Matt knew his handler would kill him if he found out he left without notifying him first, but at this moment he couldn't find it within himself to care.

He picked up the phone, and dialed a familiar number as he wrapped the bottle of scotch up and stuffed it into a bag.

"C'mon, pick up…"

"Hello?" a groggy Scottish voice asked.

"Think you can spare a moment for a friend?"

"Matt? Of course I can, where to?"

"You still living in Leeds?" he asked as he snatched up his keys and all but ran to his car.

"Yeah, same house…are you close by?" She sounded hopeful, and that made Matt smile.

"Can't tell you that," he said with a sigh. "Just trust me. I'll be there soon."

"Okay, see you then."

It took him less time than he expected to get to her house, but even then it was nearly three in the morning by the time he got there.

She opened the door before he could even stop the car, and ran out in bare feet to yank him down into one of the tightest hugs he had ever experienced in his life.

"I never thought I would see you again," she said into his neck.

He smiled, and kissed her temple. "Oh you know me. I could never stay away for long."

She grinned, and pulled away. "Won't your handler be angry?"

Matt shrugged. "Peter will get over it." He reached into his bag and pulled out the scotch. "I brought a little something."

Amy's eyes narrowed. "Matt, I'm not going to be drinking any of that at this hour."

He shook his head. "No, no. I just want you to take it."

She let her head tilt to the side. "I don't understand."

Matt swallowed. "It was a gift from Jack for…for the wedding. I can't keep it anymore."

She stared at him for a long moment, and then gently took the bottle from him. "Thank you."

He granted her a small, crooked grin. "Don't mention it."

Amy glanced back at her house. "Why don't you come in and stay for the rest of tonight? You can get some sleep after all that driving, and in the morning Rory can make us all some breakfast."

He chuckled. "Are you sure you'll have a place for me?"

She gave him a soft smile. "We always have a place set out for you, Matt."

Matt felt the tears prick at his eyes, and laughed nervously when one escaped. "Sorry."

Amy grabbed his hand. "C'mon, you can take the guestroom. I know Claire would love to see you again. She hasn't stopped asking for stories about you ever since your last call."

Matt smiled and allowed her to pull him inside. She locked the front door before leading him to her guest bedroom at the back of the house.

He swallowed as he entered the room, and turned back around to look at her. "I don't deserve a friend like you, Amelia."

She smiled, and reached up to stroke his cheek. "My Raggedy Man…" She kissed his cheek and turned to leave the room.

"Goodnight," she whispered, and shut the door.

 _Fin._


End file.
